I had to write about myself in 500 characters or less and I spent just as much time on sarcastic bio lines as I did on the actual thing because I am a master of Productive Procrastination.
"Julianna Woolums is a professional camp photographer who will probably die a professional camp photographer, if she has her way."
“Professional camp photographer Julianna Woolums will continue to be a professional camp photographer until it becomes more efficient for camp to replace her with a remote control flying drone camera.”
“Photographer Julianna Woolums is a pretty insufferable Yellowstone Doomsday predictor in the winter-months.”
“Julianna Woolums just typed her name too many times and is Googling legal name changes. Google results confirm this option is not affordable.”
“Having graduated with a Very Useful Art Degree in 2013, she panicked and ran away to Durango, Colorado where she remains to this day even when she is not physically there.”
“After graduating with a B.A. in Photography she found a spacious place, free of rent, in her parents’ unfinished basement where she learned to play ten to twelve chords on the Ukulele and really blossomed as an adult. She is insecure about her use of a possessive apostrophe after a plural noun but is pretty sure she is right."
“She excels at staying awake, and is proficient in other marketable skills like road-trip DJ-ing, shooing horses back to where they came from, and keeping an eye on goats.”
“In her free time she enjoys brushing dogs, collecting dead bugs, and jogging but only when in sight of athletic-looking cars and other joggers.”
“Her hobbies include looking at Instagram until her tendonitis flares up, trail-running until heavy breathing makes her rib dislocate a little again, and incorrectly predicting the weather with her two-year-old knee injury.”
“She resides just beyond the young and exciting part of Denver with her two oldest female friends and two black cats, one good, one just okay. All are single.”